Phrase: Ted Cruz

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  • Ted Cruz Wants NASA to Turn Old Shuttles into Chick-Fil-As

    This story first appeared on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) wants NASA to “find some places where we can turn this country’s dangerous obsession with ‘science’ and ‘space’” into something the whole country can benefit from. This week, Cruz announced that he plans to propose the “Turn All Our Old […] More

  • President Cancels Plans for Twin Trump Towers in Kabul

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump announced on Twitter over the weekend that a secret meeting between U.S. and Taliban officials that was to be held at Camp David on the anniversary week of the September 11th, 2001 terror attacks was cancelled. Trump indicated that a deadly attack that left a U.S. soldier and 11 more […] More

  • Trump Wants His New Space Force’s Guns To Go “PEW PEW!”

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump reportedly surprised even his own administration officials when he directed the Department of Defense to begin the process of establishing the United States Space Force. If actually created, the Space Force would be the first new branch of the armed forces since the Air Force was created in 1947. […] More

  • Senator Jim Inhofe Jumps On Senate Floor to Disprove Gravity

    This story was first published on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. — The very same Republican Senator who once made headlines when he threw a snowball on the floor of the Senate to disprove climate change, Senator Jim Inhofe (R-OK) recently decided he was not done debunking science. Taking to the floor in gym shorts, a […] More

  • Jim Bridenstine Wants NASA To Install Weed Dispensary On International Space Station

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, along party lines, Rep. Jim Bridenstine (R-OK) was confirmed — just barely — by the United States Senate and will be the new NASA Administrator; he’s already making eyebrows raise. Though Rep. Bridenstine has served on the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology, his degrees are in business, economics, and […] More

  • Facebook Unveils New App That Alerts You When Your Private Data Is At Risk

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg testified before two Senate committees simultaneously. During his marathon testimony, Zuckerberg admitted that his company made errors in handling the Cambridge Analytica scandal now rocking Facebook. Zuckerberg conceded that Facebook didn’t notify the users whose information was taken improperly by a data firm employed by both Senator […] More