Dan Broadbent 
NEW YORK, NY – Following two Nor’easters in as many weeks, lifelong New York City resident Jack King is excited about recent news from NASA that the Earth will soon warm to the point that carbon dioxide trapped in permafrost will be released, further accelerating climate change.
“You know, I never really thought about global warming all that much. I mean, what can I do about it anyway? I’m just one guy and I’m super busy all the time. Plus, it’s been snowing a lot lately, so that means it’s clearly not getting warmer. But this news from NASA has me excited because I really hate snow. And since we just got two feet here, bring on the warming!” said King.
Other residents were not as excited.
“Just think about what will happen when these feet melt” said Andrea Coulter. “All that water has to go somewhere!”
Some had hygiene concerns for the feet.
“Where did these come from? How do we know that the snow is organic? What kinds of toxins are inside them?” said Dixie Worden.