Dan Broadbent 
Following the announcement from NASA today that organic matter was discovered on Mars, the Monsanto Company immediately reached out to NASA regarding sending Monsanto’s scientists to Mars to genetically modify it.
Speaking to Monsanto’s CEO Hugh Grant, Alternative-Science.com gained exclusive insight into the situation.
“We were just as excited as everyone else hearing the news today – that we may have found 3 billion year old life on Mars. As the world’s leader in biotechnology, we see this as a huge opportunity for not only our brand, but also for all of humanity,” said Grant.
He added: “We will leave NO organic material left unmodified.”
You may also enjoy reading: NASA confirms: In space, ‘reverse cowgirl’ and ‘doggystyle’ are the same thing
Think about it – not only would Monsanto’s scientists be the first humans to step foot on another planet, but we’d also be the first people to genetically alter alien life. Our secret plan to genetically alter every plant and animal on Earth is already well underway, so to secure the future of our brand, we need to start making plans for other worlds.”
“We found signs of alien life in an incredibly inhospitable place. Imagine what we can do to the genes of this organic matter once we get our hands on it!”
“We reached out to NASA immediately to seize this opportunity. We didn’t want to give Whole Foods a chance to move in here and gain market share over us. So we quickly booked the first launch of NASA’s new Space Launch System happening in 2019. We can’t wait to get our scientists on the ground and modifying those genes!”