WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump reporters today that he’s “pretty sure” he’s not racist, although he admitted that it’s “been tough to tell lately.” “You know, sure I was sued by the federal government in the 1970’s because I literally wasn’t letting black people rent apartments in some of my buildings I wanted to […] More
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — While overseas on a state visit to the United Kingdom this week, President Donald Trump raised eyebrows when he seemed to claim that he knows “most of” the millions of Irish Americans living in the United States. “You are certainly one of the leading countries in terms of people moving and living […] More
THEOCRACY MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE — In the state of Tennessee, pro-life forces are growing tired of other red states getting all the press and headlines about their abortion bans, and Republican lawmakers in the state believe they may have found a way to trump all the others. In recent weeks, abortion bans in Alabama, Missouri, Georgia, […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Over the weekend, scientists and medical professionals were stunned, shocked, but ultimately quite excited about the re-discovery of a species of Republican — one that is a vertebrate. “When Republicans were first discovered back in the middle of the 19th century, there were actually lots of them that had spinal columns,” Dr. […] More
FORT ENFANT MARIÉE, ALABAMA — The Republican caucus within Alabama’s state legislature, perhaps under pressure from negative press generated by the state’s controversial new abortion law, have released a 15-point pamphlet on the do’s and don’ts having a vagina in Alabama. In the interest of public awareness and edification, we are reprinting the contents of […] More
VILLE OÙ LES FEMMES DANSENT NUES, FRANCE, FRANCE — Firefighters battling the blaze that immolated parts of the famed Notre Dame cathedral in Paris came upon a rather unsuspected item in the debris and rubble left behind, once the flames were out. “This morning, while our crews swept debris into a big pile before being […] More
Editor’s Note: The following is an editorial written by Calvary University Dean of Economics Glenn Biscoff. Mr. Biscoff received his doctorate degree from the Trump University School of Ekkkonomics and Branding. The below is the represented and collective opinions of Mr. Biscoff’s, and not necessarily those of the staff or management of this, or any […] More
