EPA Head Scott Pruitt Starts Federal Panel to Challenge Scientific Consensus on Gravity

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As reported by The New York Times, EPA head Scott Pruitt convened a panel to challenge the government climate data. He calls it a “red team/blue team” approach, intimating that he believes climate science to be a political topic, and that he believes there is a varying difference of opinion among those who study it as to how much impact mankind has.

Speaking at a board meeting of the American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity, a lobbying group for coal companies and their industry allies, Mr. Pruitt said his staff had already begun preparations for a “red team-blue team” exercise to challenge mainstream climate science, according to two people who attended the meeting but were not authorized to speak about it publicly. (source)

Pruitt has come under fire of late when it was discovered that he was flying first class or taking military and government flights when he traveled. The estimated costs for his flights is around $135,000. So far, the Trump administration has made no indication they will hold Pruitt accountable for those financial decisions.

At a recent event for the Coal United National Team — a union of America’s coal workers and companies — Pruitt explained his reasoning for wanting to have the consensus of climate scientists challenged by people with a financial stake in keeping the status quo.

“Liberals want us to believe that nine out of ten climate scientists believe in anthropogenic climate change,” Pruitt said, “but that’s just rhetoric. We think the number is much closer to eight and a half out of ten, tops.”

At the same event, Pruitt announced that it’s not just climate science that Pruitt wants challenged by Corporate America; it’s all science, ever.

“Sure, they call it the Law of Gravity,” Pruitt told attendees of the barbecue event, “but I don’t see it mentioned anywhere in the Ten Commandments, so is it really a good law?”

Mr. Pruitt explained that as a “good, clean, ammo-hoarding, Mother Earth hating patriot,” he knows and believes that unless it’s mentioned in the Bible, no law is “sacred or righteous.” Pruitt said he has scoured the Bible many times and has never found any mention of gravity, and therefore he has to conclude it’s “fake science.”

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“For years now,” Pruitt told the coal workers, “liberals have insisted that the scientific community has been in agreement about climate change. But you know what? I have found at least six or seven scientists at Liberty University and another handful or so at Concordia Bible College who disagree. So that’s like, what, ten people who will refute what hundreds can prove with so-called data and facts? If I know of a handful or two, surely other people know of a couple here and there. So you know, checkmate, libs.”

Reached for comment, Mother Earth simply sighed and gave Pruitt the finger.

James’ satire can also be found on Alternative Facts and The Political Garbage Chute.

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Written by James Schlarmann

James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well.

You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.