CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – In a press conference today, administrators at NASA announced the much-anticipated results of recent research on the International Space Station into definitions of different sexual positions in space. For decades, researchers pondered how humans will have sex in space, and what the future of sexting will be once humans are living […] More
NEW CATFORD, NEW YORK — Mr. Whisker Bottoms is a Feline-American. He is currently residing in the same home with the same family he’s been in since he was adopted as a rescue kitten in 2007. Whisker Bottoms describes himself as a “social progressive” and “fiscal moderate” and he really enjoys discussing and reading about politics, […] More
The following is reprinted from a pamphlet being given by Congressional Republicans to their constituents during town hall meetings in their districts. It’s that time of year again. It’s Thanksgiving time — a time of great American tradition and values. So while you are preparing to take part in that great American tradition of Thanksgiving […] More
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO — In a development that might be beneficial to President Trump’s claims that he has kept many of his campaign promises, the Mexican government has sent a letter to the White House, agreeing to pay for at least a portion of his much ballyhooed border wall. “Dear Mr. President, it has come […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Halloween is today, and the White House preparations for the holiday are in full swing. Decorations were hung all around the president’s residence and bowls of candy have been being prepared for days now. While the mood is generally festive and upbeat, sources say there are growing concerns over a massive, rotting […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump, who is also a noted scientist with published theories on the safety of looking right at a solar eclipse, told reporters today that in his estimation the multiple, deadly fires burning in California are being made worse by windmills in the state. There are currently at least four very […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that he “absolutely does not and will not ever” support the impeachment of President Donald J. Trump. “Look, I don’t care if he shoots my mother on 5th Avenue. I don’t care if he literally sells our country to Russian oligarchs. Hell, I don’t even […] More
Doctors and medical professionals all over the country, and indeed the world, are marveling right now that the discovery of a new breed of human being. It’s been quite a long time since anthropologists could announce the discovery of a new subspecies of human. From coast to coast, however, doctors and medical staff are giving […] More
AREA 69, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION — While everyone else has been busy preparing for an invasion of Area 51, the government’s top secret desert outpost that allegedly contains alien secrets, Tad Wilson was busy preparing to storm another area altogether. “What can I say? I like to flip things upside down sometimes,” Tad told us via […] More
