Pro-MAGA Musician Drops New Country Single: “I F**k The Flag”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — A pro-Trump singer/songwriter on the Confederate Records label has released a new single that is already climbing the country and incestuous adult contemporary charts.

Jethro Bohiggins, known around the country as a big, MAGA supporting right-wing YouTube and podcast star, is also a country musician. His new album, “Freedom, Guns, Liberty, and Firearms,” will be released later this year, but Bohiggins released the first single from it a couple of weeks ago. “(I Love My Country So Much I) Fuck the Flag,” is a full throated country power ballad. Bohiggins, announcing the release on his podcast, said that fans should expect a whole album of songs like “Fuck the Flag,” which he calls his first real attempt at “patrioerotica” music.

“That’s music that makes you so love America so much you get so horny you can’t help yourself, and you have to rub your genitals on Old Glory,” Bohiggins said. “I don’t think there are enough people living in America today who truly, truly love her like I love her, and so I wanted to write a song that inspired people to dig in, and really fall head over balls in love with America.”

The lyrics of the song are quite evocative, which Bohiggins credits for why the song seems to be resonating with country fans.

“Look, it ain’t a lie. When I sing that freedom gets me hard, it does. I think you can hear the freedom boner in my pants on that track,” Bohiggins said. “Which would make sense because I was rubbing and tugging on it through pretty much every take.”

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Recording the song took about six months, Jethro says, because he wasn’t able to find anyone in his area to record it with.

“All my musician friends seemed to have other things to do whenever I’d ask them about working with on this song with me,” Bohiggins explained. “So at some point I had to pull up my bootstraps, pull down my pants, and fuck that flag, know what I mean? I mean I literally fucked a flag before writing it, in case I wasn’t clear enough.”

Bohiggins understands that his song “ain’t gonna be everyone’s cup o’ moonshine.”

“I know libtards don’t even understand what it’s like to admire or respect America, you know, because they all, every single one of them, hate America,” Bohiggins said. “So that’s why I sing about prayin’ to God to kill libtards. Imagine how much more betterer this country would be if everyone in it got so hard-up about it that we were surrounded by pantless flag fuckers? Excuse me while I wipe this tear out of my eye at the thought, fam.”

Jethro is busy in the studio recording the rest of the album, and he says that afterward he’ll tour the country in support of it.

“Only the red states though. The blue ones wouldn’t get it,” Bohiggins explained. “Of course, I lost my 2016 Electoral College map, but the good news is I still gots my map of the Confederate States of America, so I just gotta remember to hit the Rust Belt too, and I’m golden.”

Watch the video for Jethro Bohiggins’ patrioerotic smash hit single, “(I Love My Country So Much I) Fuck the Flag,” below, courtesy Confederate Records:

You can download and stream the song from iTunes, Apple Music, Spotify, on Facebook, and anywhere digital music is sold. Really. That part is 100% not satire. Just saying. Feed my kids.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.

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Written by James Schlarmann

James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well.

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