JOB OFFER: UNPAID INTERN TO WRITE TOTALLY REAL STORIES

HI AND THANKS FOR READING ARE POST!

WE ARE LOOKING FOR CREATIVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TALENT TO JOIN THE HIGH-FLYING AND GLAMOROUS WORLD OF UNPAID INTERNSHIP! THIS WILL BE PAID MOSTLY USING EXPOSURE BUCKS BUT ALSO SOME REAL LIFE MONEY THAT WE SEND TO YOU THROUGH THE INTERNET

WE RECENTLY LAUNCHED A NEW WEBSITE AT ALTERNATIVE-SCIENCE.COM AND ARE HOPEING TO GIVE PEOPLE AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOWCASE THEIR MANY VARIED TALENTS BY WRITING STORIES FOR THE WEBSITE. THEY CAN BE TRUE OR NOT, WE DON’T CARE, JUST AS LONG AS IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD AND SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE TRUE. THIS IS THE INTERNET AFTER ALL SO THAT MEANS ONCE YOU WRITE IT AND IT GOES OUT ON THE INTERNET, IT’S TRUE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T PUT THINGS ON THE INTERNET UNLESS THEY ARE TOTALLY TRUE. GO TO THAT WEBSITE ABOVE AND READ SOME THINGS TO SEE IF YOU WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR ALTERNATIVE-SCIENCE.COM!

THE UNPAID INTERNSHIP WILL TOTALLY BE PAID THOUGH, BUT JUST LIKE AT A RATE THAT WE DON’T WANT TO POST ABOUT PUBLICLY BECAUSE THE ILLUMINATI MIGHT BE LISTENING AND IT’S BEST TO KEPE SOME THINGS IN PRIVATE YOU KNOW?

IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN APPLYING, PLEASE FILL OUT THE QUESTION THING BELOW SO WE CAN NOW WHO IS GOOD AND WHO IS BAD. IF YOUR BAD WE JUST WON’T REPLY TO YOU BUT THANKS FOR YOUR TIME ANYWAY (COUNT THAT AS YOUR REPLY OK?).

PLEASE BE SERIOUS IN YOUR REPLIES, WE DON’T HAVE ANY TIME FOR YOUR FUNNY STUFF, ESPECIALLY THOSE MONSANTO-HIRED TROLLS!

IF INTERESTED PLEASE EMAIL SCIENTIST@ALTERNATIVE-SCIENCE.COM WITH ANSWERS TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:

1. DID YOU READ THE DESCRIPTION THING UP THERE AND GO TO THE WEBSITE TO SEE IF YOU THINK THAT YOU’D BE A GOOD FIT FOR OUR FANTASTIC OPPORTUNITY WITH AN UNPAID INTERNSHIP?

2. WHAT IS YOUR EXPERIMENT WITH WORDPRESS?

3. SORRY I MEANT TO TYPE EXPERIENCE IN QUESTION #2 BUT IT WON’T LET ME CHANGE IT. BUT FOR QUESTION #3, WHAT ELSE SHOULD WE KNOW ABOUT YOU THAT SETS YOU APART FROM THE HORDE OF APPLICANTS WE WILL HAVE?

 

Weekly Standard Awards Alt-Science Prestigious "Trustworthfulness In Journalastic Endeavors" Award