This story first appeared on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. — This week, the Department of Education announced that it would begin contracting with two right-wing media outlets to help shape history textbooks for classrooms starting in 2019. “This morning, Co-President Trump, having gotten permission first from Real President Bannon,” Education Secretary Betsy DeVos said […] More
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA – An avid fan of famed ‘dark web’ intellectual Jordan Peterson announced to his friends today that he can’t actually explain the things Jordan Peterson says because he doesn’t think that Jordan Peterson is actually saying anything in the first place. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. A lot of people […] More
TORONTO, ONTARIO – Riding the wave of his recent rise to fame, today Jordan Peterson announced that he has partnered with world-renowned intellectual Deepak Chopra to write a new book entitled Much Ado About Nothing. In an exclusive interview with Alternative-Science.com, Peterson explained what sparked the idea for the book, and why he chose to […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Last week, Representative Mo Brooks made global headlines when during a meeting of the U.S. House of Representatives Science, Space and Technology Committee he posited a theory on rising sea levels. While discussing climate change and its impact on the planet’s oceans, Brooks suggested that rock slides and erosion might be contributing factors […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a prayer breakfast in the nation’s capital today, the country’s vice president and official high religious inquisitor told attendees that he and President Donald J. Trump have been working on a new law they intend to present to congress for debate. Under the close, watchful eye of Vice President High Priest […] More
When Cloe Feldman uploaded an audio clip to Twitter and asked people whether they heard the word “Yanny” or the word “Laurel” in it, she touched off this year’s new “Blue or White Dress?” Internet phenomenon. Taken from an audio clip Feldman found on Reddit, the original poster claims it’s a recording from Vocabulary.com’s pronunciation feature. […] More
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — The Disney Corporation has announced that Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson has been brought on board the production team for the upcoming ninth installment of the “Star Wars” saga, and the 11th film in the franchise. “It is with great pride that we announce Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson will be joining the already […] More
BERKELEY, CA – Scientists at the University of California announced today that most of the people who find “Uranus jokes” funny are, in fact, actually idiots. The results of the study were published in the journal Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience. The Principal Investigator for the study was professor Martha Juptner. In an exclusive interview with Alternative-Science.com, […] More
Earlier this week, Elon Musk made global headlines when he deleted the official SpaceX and Tesla pages from Facebook. Musk made certain to clarify that he didn’t make the decision for political reasons, but rather because Facebook gives him “the willies.” It’s not a political statement and I didn’t do this because someone dared me […] More
Popular
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – In a press conference today, administrators at NASA announced the much-anticipated results of recent research on the International Space Station into definitions of different sexual positions in space. For decades, researchers pondered how humans will have sex in space, and what the future of sexting will be once humans are living […] More
