NEW CATFORD, NEW YORK — Mr. Whisker Bottoms is a Feline-American. He is currently residing in the same home with the same family he’s been in since he was adopted as a rescue kitten in 2007. Whisker Bottoms describes himself as a “social progressive” and “fiscal moderate” and he really enjoys discussing and reading about politics, […] More
RICHMOND, VIRGINIA — A former American president has endorsed Donald J. Trump’s re-election campaign, sending shock waves through the political commentator class. Jefferson Davis, the first and only President of the Confederate States of America has “come out of eternal retirement” to announce he is supporting Trump’s efforts to secure the White House one more […] More
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA — For 17 seasons, NBC ran the show “The Biggest Loser” on its airwaves, and it was largely a hit for the Peacock Network. On the show, medically obese contestants would compete in teams to lose as much weight as they could, with the help and advisement of personal trainers. Over the years, […] More
Yesterday, the world got its first taste of the long-awaited Mueller Report. While legal scholars and political pundits wrangle and wrestle over what the report contains, and what those contents mean, there’s one interesting tidbit that came out of the report’s release. We learned that the president’s oldest son, the one that looks like he’s […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that he “absolutely does not and will not ever” support the impeachment of President Donald J. Trump. “Look, I don’t care if he shoots my mother on 5th Avenue. I don’t care if he literally sells our country to Russian oligarchs. Hell, I don’t even […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, at a ceremony in the Rose Garden, President Donald Trump announced that he was bringing a “bigly hilarious man” to the White House to work as his new speechwriter. “This man, Shane Gillis, was recently treated very unfairly by a group of people that is also very unfair to me,” Trump […] More
Recently, researchers at the Global Online Institute of Looking Into and Verifying Things conducted a test on over 10,000 supporters of Donald Trump. The test was quite simple — lab workers showed each Trump supporter 15 pictures of presidential powers being held in check by the Constitution. The test was to see how many of […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump reporters today that he’s “pretty sure” he’s not racist, although he admitted that it’s “been tough to tell lately.” “You know, sure I was sued by the federal government in the 1970’s because I literally wasn’t letting black people rent apartments in some of my buildings I wanted to […] More
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA — Though he didn’t give his Independence Day speech until hours later after the initial shockwaves subsided, President Donald Trump triggered an earthquake in California yesterday when God applauded him earlier in the day. At least that’s what televangelist Pat Robertson believes. Rev. Robertson told listeners of his Friday podcast series that […] More
AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 — Flying back across the Atlantic to Washington, D.C. after participating in ceremonies honoring the 7th Anniversary of D-Day , President. Trump told reporters he has decided to order his Space Force to begin construction of a new space military installment on the shared Earth/Mars moon. Mr. Trump had been Europe for […] More
