James Schlarmann 
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Billionaire tech guru and possible cartoon villain Elon Musk announced in an investor call today that he has legally secured the rights to a meme that has grown in popularity at an exponential rate since its inception.
“Yeah, right, so we’re today to announce that Tesla, SpaceX, the Boring Company, and its offshoot — the Bong Company — has officially trademarked and copyrighted the Elon Musk Offers to Buy and Then Delete meme,” Musk said this morning. “It’s a great meme; I probably should’ve tweeted the original and not some knockoff, but I had just hit a doob and once I cleared my head a little and realized my mistake, I wanted to get the rights to the OG.”
Earlier this year, a story was published on this outlet that indicated Mr. Musk was offering to buy social media giant Facebook and then immediately delete it. The story became so popular it reached a level known in the online publishing world as “super duper cray cray viral.” Reportedly, Facebook execs were so spooked by the story, that’s why they demonetized Alt-Science, and not because they don’t want their readers to have to use critical thinking skills to suss out satire from reality.
“It’s really an amazing headline, one of the best I’ve ever read, and I think in the future we’ll be able to use it as a meme to fit various situations,” Musk said. “I can’t wait until we have the original blueprints for the meme in our vault; then the real fun begins.”
The details of the meme sale remain private, but estimates put the final sale price at just over $14.5 million. The sale will not be final until the National Meme Bureau and the Securities and Exchange Commission approve the deal.
This story is developing.
James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPost, Alternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.News, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals.
