Elon Musk Threatens Tesla Board With Packing Up His Electric Cars And Rocketing Home

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — In recent weeks, the relationship between billionaire inventor Elon Musk and the board of directors of Tesla, his electric vehicle company, has become icy to say the least, and today that relationship may very well have hit an all-time low.

Yesterday, in a series of tweets, Musk addressed the hubbub that has erupted over his treatment of two Wall Street analysts on an investor call. Many indicated they believed Mr. Musk, who also started and controls the space exploration company SpaceX, snubbed the analysts by refusing to answer their questions about Tesla’s future profitability. Musk indicated in tweets it was “foolish” of him to ignore their questions, but today new fuel was heaped onto the fire by Musk himself.

Facing a vote from Tesla’s board to replace him as chairman, Musk fired off a sternly worded letter to the board, urging them to consider their vote carefully. Musk’s statement also contained a dire warning for the board about Tesla’s future development of electric cars and other vehicles.

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Musk’s letter to the Tesla board appears below, in its entirety.

My Fellow Tesla Board Members,

Chill out, dudes, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine. Shareholders have nothing to be worried about; our value will rise — I promise it. But make no mistake, voting to replace me as CEO would bring about major changes to your lives, and to Tesla. Namely — that you’d never, ever see me again and Tesla wouldn’t exist.

See, if you vote to get rid of me, I’ll make it very simple on all of you. I’ll just pack up all the cars and car parts and everything into a rocket, you remember I have a rocket company right? Well, anyway, I’m just going to pack all of Tesla’s shit into a big ol’ Falcon rocket and blast the eff off out of here.

I will take my electric cars and go home, make no mistake about it. The ball’s in your court, guys. Your call, of course, but think long and hard before you do anything drastic.

Your Pal,


This is a developing story.

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Written by James Schlarmann

James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well.

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