SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Fandom of the sci-fi/fantasy film franchise known as “Star Wars” have been clamoring for news of the title for the upcoming and final installment of the Skywalker Saga, known simply as “Episode IX,” and they just got a reprieve from none other than tech guru Elon Musk. “I like space, I […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — During a radio interview on WKKK-FM, Donald Trump Jr. accidentally let slip that his father, President Donald Trump, is in the process of directing his newly minted Space Force to begin construction a great space wall. “Diddums can always have his Space Force build a space wall around our country,” Junior said, […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Mitt Romneytron (R-UT) shocked the world today when he announced that he would endorse someone in next year’s presidential election from outside his own Republican Party. “I. Am. Pleased. To. Announce,” Romneytron announced in his usual robotic patter, “that I, Senator Mitt Romneytron, give my full endorsement to the billionaire automaton […] More
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — At the time of publication, White House medical staff is still not sure if — or when — Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s foot can, or will, be extracted from the rectum of the President of the United States of America. “We knew that Madam Speaker was the rightful owner of […] More
WASHINGTON, DC – In a new video just released publicly, Kendall Jenner is shown successfully diffusing the controversy between the “MAGA hat kid” and a Native American veteran at the Lincoln Memorial last weekend. In the image, Jenner can be clearly seen in the background intervening with a Pepsi. Alternative-Science.com was able to contact Jenner, who […] More
CAJA DE DIABLA RUBIA, CALIFORNIA — Fox News contributor Tammy Lahren told Fox & Friends viewers this morning that she is “completely and totally, like, full-on mad or whatever” about DNA testing that was recently done on Santa Claus. “So apparently Santa did a Deena test, and he used that company 23andMe,” Lahren told Fox & Friends this morning. […] More
COPA MILAGRO, NEW MEXICO — Grant Tabor is a lifelong resident of New Mexico, and as he calls himself, “a dyed in the wool, rock-ribbed, shoot-em-up” Conservative. Tabor is one of thousands of Christians who have joined the boycott of coffee purveyor Starbucks after the caffeine-selling corporation unveiled its new cups for the holiday season, […] More
As the holiday season approaches, it’s important to focus and reflect on what’s important – family, friends, and fighting with both of them. So we’ve compiled this list of tips to help make your holiday season everything that it should be – and more! Get the official Cats in Space Quoting Scientists 2019 wall calendar, […] More
WASHINGTON, DC – LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! The drone of the “LOCK HER UP!” chant tore through the crowd outside the White House Tuesday upon hearing the news that Ivanka Trump, a person that nobody really understands why she’s involved in politics in the first place, used her personal email […] More
SOME CHINESE SOUNDING PLACE, CHINA — The totally real government of China released a totally legitimate statement to the world press today, perhaps dropping a bombshell on the scientific and political communities in the process — and admitted that they created the hoax known as “climate change.” “Dear The World and Exspeshully That Super Cool, […] More
