Tomi Lahren Says NASA’s Black Hole Picture is ‘Reverse Racism’ Because #AllHolesMatter

VALLE INSÍPIDO, CALIFORNIA — Fox News contributing racist Tomahawk Lahren does not like black holes, and she has made it a lifelong mission of hers to get them renamed as “white holes’ because,. as her hashtag states, #AllHolesMatter.

Last year,Tuberculosis started the hashtag when someone made her aware that there was something in the world with the word “black” in its title, and not a single white conservative had been consulted before naming it.

“What are the science nerds saying, that only black holes matter? Because all holes matter, Skip. Besides, we all know that black holes are no different than the KKK,” Tammy said at one point. “Just another libtard conspiracy, I guess, and another sad example of America’s left crapping all over the people whose parents’ parents’ parents made this country great…or you know, greater than it is now, or whatever.” (Alternative Science)

Lahren has said that the idea for her hashtag came from a thought she had in the shower one morning.

“I was taking a shower, cleaning out the hole where shit comes out of me,” Timmy said, “and I realized that my mouth is kind of what someone might call a white hole. And that got me thinking, like, OH MY GOD, why come scientists no call them white holes? It’s okay to be a white hole!”

Today, Lahren took to the airwaves of Fox News and her various social media channels to blast NASA for “only taking pictures of black holes.” Tummytuck was referring to the pictures released by NASA today that, for the first time in the history of humanity, what black holes look like. It was an easy process, and it took years to complete, but while the scientific world is doing backflips, Tillamook says she is “more outraged” at the pictures that she’s “ever been about a black man quietly kneeling.”

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“Umm? Excuse me? What the actual F, NASA,” Lahren asked in a now-deleted Instagram post. “Apparently these space cucks didn’t get the memo that #AllHolesMatter. I will keep shouting that message until I’m so old I look like Ann Coulter instead of just sounding like her.”

Timbale called herself the “world’s foremost expert on gaping holes” and said she is “astounded” that NASA would publish “such blatant anti-white, reverse racism.”

“Yeah, uhh,” Lahren tweeted later, “I keep thinking about this NASA photo of the so-called black hole, and I think it proves that there’s a Deep State Coup happening right now at NASA because they’re denying the #AllHolesMatter movement!”

Reached for comment, President Trump’s senior policy adviser Stephen Miller said the NASA black hole photos are an “insulting outrage to good, clean, white Americans everywhere.”

“How very uppity of those holes to be black, when they had the choice to be perfectly white,” Miller told reporters from Breitbart while chucking books into his fireplace. “It’s clearly racist, and it needs to be stopped. I’m going to have the president sign an executive presidential decree to rename black holes white holes, as God intended them to be.”

This is a developing story.


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Written by James Schlarmann

James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well.

You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.