Dan Broadbent 
WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking turn of events, Attorney General Jeff Sessions resigned from the Department of Justice today and Ally McBeal was nominated as his replacement.
According to CNN:
“At your request I am submitting my resignation,” Sessions wrote in a letter to White House chief of staff John Kelly.
FINALLY! It’s about time! This news comes as a huge relief to tens of tens of people.
President and World Overlord Donald Trump took to Twitter to announce that he had fired Jeff Sessions, and had already chosen a replacement:
The Emmy-nominated Ally McBeal is a Harvard educated lawyer who has practiced law for decades. In fact, from 1997 to 2002, FOX televised her life as part of a long-term documentary, giving millions of Americans insight into the lives of lawyers outside of the courtroom.